An attachment style is the way in which we connect in relationships. Attachment styles are developed in early childhood beginning at birth and are stable throughout the lifespan. The way in which parent’s met their child’s needs often determined the trajectory of their attachment style and future relationship patterns. There are four types of attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, avoidant-dismissive, and disorganized. Together we will understand the styles you have and find ways to merge them into your relationship. We can also start the journey of changing our attachment styles and our responses in relationships.
This term was originally coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw to describe the unique experiences of Black women in having two marginalized identities. Today, we continue to use this term to vaguely describe the unique experiences of the intersection of identities—race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual identity, spirituality, class, ability, etc. It can be challenging when our own intersecting identities are difficult to explore in a predominately White, heteronormative, middle-class patriarchy. It can be even more challenging navigating our identities in a partnership with someone who has different intersecting identities. My hope is that we can continue to explore our identities, our needs, and our activating points AND communicate them with our partner(s) and in our relationships.
Re-marriages & Blending
Are you trying to blend a step-family or have recently re-married? Did you expect it to be easy to “blend” your families but instead it feels much more challenging?
You may have experienced some of these thoughts:
We feel more disconnected since we tried to blend our families than before.
It seemed like we agreed on everything and had a good friendship, but now it seems like we can’t find any common ground.
Most of our conversations are about things that need to be done or get paid, it feels like our actual relationship has deteriorated and we’re just roommates.
One partner consistently feels left out, while the other partner feels like they can never make anyone happy—yet both partners feel unheard and unappreciated.
I have personal experience with blending families and can understand that it is not always a walk in the park. Together, we can discover the meaning under your family’s patterns, discuss stepfamily dynamics that affect relationships, and create opportunities for deeper connection.